Down by the water

I'm sorry for not posting. I have been getting by and going to work and surrounding myself with happy pretty things. But when night falls, I'm surrounded by loneliness and tears and bad dreams and restless sleep. 

Nothing really did trigger this, but this is the life I have grown accustomed to.

I will try to take pictures instead to mark the moment, for words just don't seems logical to me. And my emotions.. it's just difficult to pen it into words.

Heard this song by The Drums and the melancholy tinge to it just sums up my mood right now.

yup, I'm depressed again...

Haven't been work for 3 days. Mood = low. Back (mid spine) = hurts.

Thoughts of killing myself have surfaced and getting panicky over thoughts of going back to work tomorrow.

Thoughts = can't control. tired of it all. hope to sleep and forget and want to cry. Sooo tired..