Saturday, February 27, 2010

Everything is related

I'm glad that I made it through this week. I have been giddy & tired pretty often, most likely due to my menses that started on Monday. And my feet hurts, at the heel area, so I can't walk and much as I wanted to make a trip out to buy some bread and get a nice cold ice blended coffee to cool down in this hot humid weather, I can't and i decided not to push myself to walk in case it gets worse.

My mood hasn't been very good but I'm hanging there & motivating myself. Not sure if it's due to hormones or brain chemicals, but they are all related somehow...

Watching tv & reading "Black Hills" by Nora Roberts and feeling sluggish and just tired. Will write again.

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Mood dipped and ANTM dark shots

After all my enthusiasms and motivation and being on the ball, my mood dipped today and now I feel that there's a stone wedge in my heart. I feel lousy, depressed and want to cry. I feel miserable and I can't breathe.

My heart is heavy. And it hurts and it keeps me down.

On another note, I wanted to blog about this yesterday... I watched America Next Top Model 13 on Thursday and these pictures strike me.

Erin- Distressed, in pain, vulnerable, torturous, rejected and lonely
A judge mentioned that she is like an alien, I find her a misfit and in distress.

Nicole- Sensual and mesmerizing. Like a fairy in the unknown. Mysterious.

The photos taken were great. Like an art work. Gorgeous.

And my pain and misery continue to leach my essence and my head pound and cries. Possibly my PMS and nothing else, but if the monster is back, please don't take it all, have a little mercy. Please, just leave it.... hear my cries....

March has been a fearful month for me and since last year, April too. I'm worried and I'm so scared that it will happen again and I just want to cry my tears of fear.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Julie and Julia

Julie and Julia

I'm watching the movie and typing this and laughing at the witty
dialouges and cooking scene especially when Julie (Amy Adams)
struggles to cook the lobster.

This is a great movie and I think I will add it on to my lists of
favourite shows that I probably would not get bored watching. And
Meryl Streep completely transformed herself into Julia Child, I'm
momentarily surprised that she is the same actress in "The Devil wears

There's a dialouge in Julia scene where her husband wrote to his

"Dear Charlie.

Julia in front of her stove has the same fascinatiom for me as
watching a kettle drummer at the symphony. The oven door open and
shuts so fast, you hardly notice the deft thrust of a spoon as she
dips into a casserole, and up to her mouth for a taste check like a
perfectly-timed double beat
on the drums. Then with her bare fingers, she snatches a set of
cannelloni out of the pot of boiling water, and she cries "These damn
things are as hot as a stiff cock.". "

Haha. I love the way he describe the cooking in comparison to a
drummer symphony and the added remark by Julia is funny end.

I keep smiling as I watched this, hw 2 person from 2 different era
finds themselves through cooking and the joy of feeding others and the
food. Gosh, I have the urge to taste some of the food in the recipes.

And I understand how Julie felt when she started on this project and
asked for a deadline because she says she never completes anything and
I can relate to it because I have also started many projects in my
life that I have put aside because I grew bored with it or because I
have lost my motivation. So i'm glad that I have carried on blogging
these past few years even though there are some dry spells.

I think it's a great and fun idea to start a blogging project for 365
days, but let's just keep it as an idea because I can't think of any
project I want to start now.

Do watch this movie or do you like it if you have already watched it?

:) I'm feeling happy today.

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

started work

I have started work, everything is ok so far, kind of like it but feeling tired physically. Afraid to take on too much and burn myself out.

Will have a good rest.