I didn't get better and was sent to A&E on Wednesday morning. I was still having very bad headache and was very giddy. In the end I was admitted for observation for a day and was discharged yesterday.
I was admitted for having giddiness for 3/7, then my diagnosis was changed to Fits in the A&E recovery room. Finally they admitted me for having a complex partial seizures. The diagnosis scares me.
I did a CT brain scan and had an EEG. My CT scan was ok and am now waiting for my EEG report, out maybe next week.
I was quite a baby when I was admitted and to much embarrassment, the nurses and Drs were very kind to me. The night nurse found me crying and it's one of those times when you are so scared and worried that you just cannot stop. I was very depressed and I couldn't stop crying but I couldn't say why I'm crying and I was embarrassed to be crying because I work in the hospital and I don't know how to explain my emotions. The lights were off at 9pm and in total darkness, I felt trapped and had a panic attack and I was so lonely and my heart hurt so bad. I was in a deep hole and I was so so so depressed.
She comforted me and made me a hot drink. That night I had a fainting episode again, the ground was moving and my head was light headed and my hands and feet were numb and had tingling sensation. I was confined to bed and feeling more scared, cried some more. In the end, my hubby came and held my hand.
I also felt trapped because no one knew what's really wrong with me and I couldn't be 100% honest about my medical history because that's a secret I will have to carry to my grave. I have thought about it and have decided that unless I have a tumor in my brain and need to be operated on or something and that it is necessary to disclose, i will do so. Otherwise, I can't bear it. For all the mental health awareness program in this country, it's a taboo and no one really understand.
The CT scan and EEG was an eye opener, the technician showed me the probes and my reading on the computer screen but the DR will have to analyse it and write the report. While capturing the awake mode, she flashes bright lights in my eyes (my eyes were closed) and made me breathe in and out very quickly for 3 mins to collect some readings. These made my headache worse and my limbs numb and tingly. In the sleep mode, she played some music and I tried to relax and sleep. I think I did sleep for a short while and she was satisfied with the readings. The whole procedure took 30 min or longer.
I'm home and recovering. Though my right side is still slightly weaker, it seems this is the residual effect of the seizure and will go away. I'm actually wondering if I had a seizure because of my BP condition. This brain of mine has seems to be in shock and wasted. I don't feel the same today. I need to ask my psy Dr when I see him 2 weeks later.
I feel blessed to be alive. Ironic for someone in this state.
I think I'm OK though. Hmm..
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